I knew something was off before I even had a name for it.
I wasn’t sick, but I wasn’t well either. My body felt different—like it was slowly betraying me in a way I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I was exhausted but couldn’t sleep. My moods swung unpredictably. My weight crept up even though I wasn’t doing anything differently. I was constantly either too hot or too cold.
And the worst part? No one really prepared me for it.
Doctors told me I was fine. Friends joked about “getting older.” But I wasn’t just getting older—something was changing inside me, and I needed answers.
That’s when I learned about perimenopause.
For most women, it starts somewhere in their late 30s to mid-40s, creeping in before you even realize what’s happening. And because it’s so gradual, it’s easy to overlook the signs—or worse, blame yourself for not being able to “push through.”
So, if you’ve been feeling off but can’t quite explain why, here are 10 subtle signs of perimenopause you might be missing.
1. Your Periods Are Different—Even If They’re Still Regular
Most of us assume perimenopause means skipping periods, but the truth is, your cycle can start changing in more subtle ways first. Maybe your flow is heavier than usual, or it lasts longer. Maybe your cycle suddenly shortens to 24 days instead of 28. Even if you’re still “regular,” shifting cycle patterns can be one of the earliest signs that perimenopause has begun.
2. You’re Wide Awake at 3 AM for No Reason
One of the cruelest parts of perimenopause? The way it hijacks your sleep. Even if you’ve never had issues before, you might find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, staring at the ceiling, unable to fall back asleep. This can be due to fluctuating progesterone levels—or even sudden surges of cortisol, your body’s stress hormone.
3. Your Moods Are All Over the Place
One minute you’re fine, the next you’re irrationally irritated because someone left a spoon in the sink. Sound familiar? Hormonal shifts can make even the most even-keeled woman feel like she’s constantly on the verge of snapping—or sobbing. And if you already have a history of anxiety or depression, perimenopause can intensify it.
4. You Feel Like You’re in a Constant Brain Fog
Forgetfulness. Losing your train of thought mid-sentence. Walking into a room and having no idea why you’re there. If you feel like your brain isn’t firing on all cylinders anymore, you’re not imagining it. Estrogen plays a huge role in cognitive function, and as levels fluctuate, it can leave you feeling mentally fuzzy.
5. Your Metabolism Has Slowed Down—But No One Told Your Appetite
You’re eating the same way you always have, but the scale keeps creeping up. What gives? Hormonal changes can impact your metabolism, how your body processes carbohydrates, and even your hunger signals—meaning you might find yourself craving sugar and carbs more often.
6. You Suddenly Have Zero Tolerance for Alcohol
Remember when you could have a couple of drinks and feel fine the next day? If alcohol suddenly hits you harder or leaves you feeling wrecked even after just one glass, that’s a classic sign of perimenopause. Your liver’s ability to process alcohol changes, and fluctuations in estrogen can make you more sensitive to its effects.
7. Your Skin & Hair Are Changing—And Not in a Fun Way
Dryer skin. More wrinkles. Thinning hair. WTF is happening? Estrogen helps keep your skin plump and hydrated, and when it starts to decline, you may notice your skin losing some of its elasticity. And if your ponytail feels thinner? That’s because estrogen also helps keep hair in its growth phase.
8. You’re Either Too Hot or Too Cold—All the Time
We all know about hot flashes, but temperature regulation issues can show up in more subtle ways too. Maybe you’re suddenly freezing when no one else is. Or you wake up drenched in sweat even though the room is cool. Your body is struggling to regulate temperature the way it used to, thanks to shifting hormones.
9. Your Libido Has Pulled a Disappearing Act
Even if you’ve never had issues before, you might suddenly realize that your sex drive is… just gone. This isn’t just in your head—testosterone and estrogen both play a huge role in libido, and when they fluctuate, so does your desire. The good news? There are ways to bring it back.
10. You Feel More Anxious & Overwhelmed Than Ever
Maybe you used to handle stress just fine, but now even small things feel overwhelming. Estrogen helps regulate the production of feel-good neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. When it dips, you’re more prone to feelings of anxiety, sadness, and even panic attacks.
So, What Can You Do?
First, don’t gaslight yourself. If you feel like something is off, trust that. You don’t have to just “deal with it” or assume this is your new normal.
Start tracking your symptoms. Look at your lifestyle—are you supporting your body with enough protein, strength training, stress management, and quality sleep? Consider getting your hormones checked. And if you need help, seek out a doctor who actually listens to you.
Perimenopause isn’t something you have to suffer through. But it does require us to shift our approach—to our health, our habits, and how we care for ourselves.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned? Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. But understanding what’s happening? That’s where you take your power back.
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