The Question Haunting My 40s

I’m tired.

Not just I didn’t get enough sleep last night tired. Not just I need a vacation tired. I’m bone-deep, soul-level exhausted—the kind that no amount of naps or weekends off can fix.

I’m tired of cooking. Tired of cleaning. Tired of laundry piles that never end and meal planning for people who don’t even seem to care what they eat. I’m tired of the same routine, the same responsibilities, the same everything.

And what’s even more frustrating? The realization that this is just how life is supposed to be in this stage. Constant stress. Constant responsibility. Constant feeling like I’m doing everything for everyone else and never having time or energy left for myself.

When do we get to live?

Why Does Joy Have to Wait?

I feel like we’ve been sold a lie.

We’re told to work hard, be responsible, sacrifice now, and one day—when we’re old and retired—then we can finally enjoy life. Then we can travel. Then we can rest. Then we can have fun.

But what if I don’t want to wait until I’m 65 to enjoy my life?

What if I don’t want to grind through these years, exhausted and drained, only to maybe get some joy at the end? What if I want some damn fun now?

I look at my life, and don’t get me wrong—I’m grateful. I love my family. I love my home. I love that I’ve built something meaningful. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel trapped in the never-ending cycle of responsibility.

Midlife Burnout Is Real

I think so many of us hit our 40s and realize we’ve been running on fumes for years. And what’s worse is that society doesn’t make space for women like us to say, I’m exhausted, I need more than this.

We’re supposed to just suck it up. Keep doing what we’ve always done. Keep being the glue that holds everything together. Keep grinding, keep managing, keep prioritizing everything and everyone else.

But what happens when we reach the point where we have nothing left to give?

That’s where I am right now.

I don’t want my life to be just about checking things off a to-do list. I don’t want to spend the next 10-20 years waiting for a time when I finally get to enjoy myself.

I want joy now. I want fun now. I want to feel alive again.

I Want More Than Just “Getting Through the Day”

I want to wake up and actually look forward to my day—not just push through it. I want to feel spontaneous, free, light. I want to pack a bag and go on a weekend trip with my husband just because. I want to sit in a café in Italy, drink a cappuccino, and not worry about what’s for dinner that night.

I want to stop feeling like my life is a series of obligations and start making space for things that light me up inside.

But here’s the hard truth—I don’t know how.

I’ve spent so many years in this cycle of routine and responsibility that I don’t even know where to start when it comes to prioritizing joy.

How do we carve out space for ourselves when we’ve been conditioned to put everyone else first? How do we stop feeling guilty for wanting more?

What If Life Could Be Different?

What if we didn’t have to wait until retirement to experience freedom? What if we actually prioritized balance throughout the years instead of saving it all for the end?

I know—I’m dreaming. Society isn’t built like that. The bills have to be paid. The kids need to be taken care of. The house still needs to be cleaned (unless we just embrace full chaos, which is honestly looking tempting some days).

But I refuse to believe that this is it.

That this overwhelming, never-enough-time-or-energy grind is all there is.

There has to be a way to bring more joy into the everyday. To stop feeling like we’re running a never-ending marathon and instead make space for things that actually matter to us.

So, What Now?

I don’t have all the answers—I wish I did. But here’s what I do know:

1. I’m done waiting for “someday.” I don’t want to wake up at 60 and realize I spent the best years of my life exhausted and burnt out.

2. I need to start making small changes now. Maybe it’s saying no to things that drain me. Maybe it’s planning something fun just for myself, no permission needed.

3. I have to start prioritizing myself. Not in a selfish way, but in a I deserve to enjoy my life too way.

4. I need to reconnect with the things that bring me joy. And honestly? I’m not even sure what those things are anymore. But I’m determined to find out.

This Is My Wake-Up Call

I can’t be the only one feeling this way. I know there are so many women out there who feel tired, burnt out, and desperate for more.

So I’m putting this out there—not just for myself, but for anyone who needs to hear it:

We deserve more than just surviving.
We deserve more than waiting until retirement to have a life we actually enjoy.
We deserve to feel alive—right now, in the middle of this messy, overwhelming, chaotic stage of life.

So tell me—what’s one thing you can do today to bring even a little bit of joy back into your life?

Because I don’t want to wait anymore. And I don’t think you do either.